U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
