he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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