ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
