The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
