he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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