i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
