she smelled like a LAN party
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
