Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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