I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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