This is not my ceiling
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize