Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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