i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
