I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I love you.
Bad choice
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