he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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