i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
