No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
