Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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