absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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