i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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