yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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