Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
