There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
