those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
