Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
