I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize