Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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