I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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