I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
