I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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