is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
