Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize