So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
no, he came in my armpit
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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