I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
