i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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