Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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