a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he fucked my hip out of place.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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