Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
is this the sara with the beer cane?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
