Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
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She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
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I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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