what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
