The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
