my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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