Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
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Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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