so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
A bitchslap is in order.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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