Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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