the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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