i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
