I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize