ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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