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Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
