Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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