i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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