Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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