My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
