lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
