And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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