Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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